I woke up this morning feeling rather sorry for myself. I have back problems which have been playing up and was up most of last night either coughing or with back pain. Yesterday I had decided to 'claim back my health'! having not been running for 3 weeks with the back problems, but when I woke up today it was clear I wasn't going running at all. So I was grumpy I'll admit...
Anyway I thought well if nothing else I'll go for a walk, and get all this feeling sorry for myself rubbish, off my chest. I have to admit I was holding back tears on the school run. I really was full of self-pity. Oh woe is me, never mind the hideous things other people are having to deal with. So I thought, I'll get up on the downs, have a rant at God, get the tears out and hopefully feel a bit better.
Well I love how God has other plans.
I got out of my car on top of the South Downs and the moment I stepped out, it was like breathing in God's peace. The tears that had been threatening to fall just weren't there and the self-pitying anger blew away on the wind.
I didn't walk far, can't really at the mo, but what I did felt so blissfully peaceful. I started to pray, thinking, right I need to empty my head of all this crap, and I was like, 'God I can't even remember what I was going to say to you', it was as if I had forgotten the frustration and pain, the self pity and anger. Instead I just marvelled at his amazing creation, which for an hour I had all to myself (save several hundred sheep!).
So, 10am and I feel like a completely different person to the one I was a few hours ago, and I didn't even pray! It was like God saw the thoughts in my head and answered them before I voiced a single one. God is good :)