About Me

Monday, 16 July 2012

Have I found what I am looking for...?

So coming back from holiday on Saturday required a rather long drive, which was not helped by the A303 being shut for hours... but it did enable tme o listen to U2's greatest hits several times! I used to be a massive U2 fan but haven't really listened to their stuff for a while...  Anyway while I was listening to 'I still haven't found what I am looking for' I really felt God speaking to me through the song. I know U2 are heavily influenced by Christian themes and I have heard this song literally hundreds of times but I never really heard it this way before. Now I am sure it is obvious to others and perhaps I have been naiive all these years but this time it seemed to me such a spiritual heart cry. Like he is saying, I've been all these places, done all these things and yet still, I haven't found 'it', or 'who'...

And as I listened, I thought, what is it I am looking for? I am so hungry for more of God, to see his Kingdom coming and I thought, is it here anyway I am just not seeing it? or is it that I never will, until eternity - 'when all the colours will bleed into one....'

And I feel that 'burning desire' - that desire to just be with God, to see him touching peoples lives. Am I going to find that? Have I already?

Sometimes I don't really know what it is I am looking for. I mean in one sense I have found 'it', I have found Jesus and that's all I need... But yet, there is more, there has to be. All this, this broken world, is not what God had planned for us all I am sure, it's not as he originally intended. All that pain, that heartbreak, that suffering... People claming things in Gods name, a wrathful, hurtful, angry God. Someone even claimed last week all these floods were a result of Gods wrath on us. Well, NO! He is a God of love, and I want to see more of that, to see people reacting to each other in love, and not in a lack of understanding, or judgement or hate, or intolerance....

So I guess, then no, I haven't found what I am looking for, because that would be Gods eternal Kingdom and I don't know when I will see that. But I live in the constant search for more of that and I will continue in that, strive for that, because I can't live a life without that, a life dedicated to God, seeking more of Him and desperate to see his love conquer all....


I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for...




just found the vid above - perfect for this post, gives me goosebumps!

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