God has really been speaking to me this week about His plans for me, (as opposed to my own plans for me!) Funny how so often we ask God to use us, but we have something specific in mind, we have our own interpretation. Then when he does give us something to do we say, 'oh, not that, I'll do something else, but not that'! How often are we prepared to do exactly what He is asking even when it might not be what we want?
I was reading Exodus this week and reminded of Moses and the burning bush. I was reading the passage and thinking wow, Moses was a bit of an idiot wasn't he? the living God is speaking to him, giving him a task to do, and he is actually asking God to send someone else. How rude is that?! And just as I was thinking that I very firmly felt God saying to me, 'well, isn't that what you are doing?'... you see I have something to do this week that I have been stressing about and thinking, 'I wonder if I can ask someone else to do it...' And the thing is I know that if I do it, I will be worried, terrified, unsure, but also that God will use me and I will probably be blessed in return. If I don't, not only am I offending God but I am also missing out on the chance to be used by him.
And in accepting that, I feel completely differently about the task in hand. I feel free to go, to be open to God, the fear has gone (well, almost!) and free to trust him completely. And I am rather enjoying that place :)
Being fearful is not something that God gives us. He might give us a challening situation, but he also gives us the strength, wisdom and knowledge to deal with it. My prayer is that I will remember that daily and that when I feel challenged my reaction in future will not be one of fear, but one of, 'I will go Lord, where you lead me...'