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Sunday, 31 July 2011

Prayer battles or battling with prayer...

'cold prayer' photo (c) 2008, Keith Riley-Whittingham - license: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/Prayer is definitely a battle at the moment... and not in the spiritual warrior kind of way. I don't know why, but I seem to be going through a phase of finding it nearly impossible to pray. I mean little arrow prayers are fine but real prayer, real concerted quiet time with God, I just cannot do it. It's like my mind is battling with me. Partly I think it's because I have been too tired to get up early for my quiet time before everyone else is up, which I am really missing. And on top of that the school hols have now started so quiet time during the day is almost impossible.

But then, if I do have time I plan to sit down and pray, and I just cannot switch off my brain. I cannot focus on bible reading, my mind just wanders off, I cannot have quiet prayer time without losing track, or I start planning tonights dinner or what we will do tomorrow. I don't know maybe I just need to embrace that now is not a season for too much prayer, the kids are at home for 6 long weeks and it's not easy to find time. But at the same time I feel totally lost without it. I know people say you can be prayerful in all that you do, but for me that's just boll**ks. I really need time to just 'be' with God, to just sit in silence and be in his presence. It's like a necessity, just as eating or sleeping is. So to be without it, or to struggle with it is horrid.
I want to be chilled about this and just think it's a season, but that's like taking a holiday from God and even if that were possible it feels so wrong...






3 comments:

Anita@Dreaming Beneath the Spires said...

Hi Red,
Try soaking prayer, perhaps. http://dreamingbeneaththespires.blogspot.com/2010/06/soaking-prayer.html.
Lying face down on the floor or bed, or in a comfy position, and just being with God. If your thoughts wander, just draw what they have wandered to into your dialogue with God. Just be. Wandering thoughts are part of a conversation with God, as with a friend.
Distracted times are part of a life of prayer, and I think God gives us credit for our desire to sit and bask in his presence, even if our thoughts wander. Mine always do!

T.C. said...

I find I can talk to God easier if I am away from the house, then the mundane distractions don't creep in so much! If it's possible to take the kids to a huge field somewhere to run around where you know they are safe and you can just sit and enjoy God in the natural surroundings!
And don't forget, part of your way of showing your love to God is to look after the children He blessed you with, so He's not gonna mind if you miss the odd quiet time. Don't make it yet another thing to have to achieve during the holidays, have a good one!

Rhoda said...

I think what Anita said is great - drawing your thoughts into prayer - maybe you are distracted and worried about things, and doing that will help you bring them to God and focus on what He wants you to do with them?

Also you could try praying through what you read, by turning everything into some kind of prayer?

Or going for a walk?

I knwo what you mean though - I do so much better early mornings. Failing that though I can also do OK if I can take a good amount of tiem by myself with a quilt on the couch in the afternoon, just for reading and prayer. And I find a prayer list is very helpful for keeping me on track too.