Monday, 25 July 2011

Illness... again

Ok, so, a quick update on the whole mystery illness thing... (total aside but Martyn Joseph wrote a song called 'Celebrity' which has a great line: '...and a mystery illness to make her even sexier...' to which I will not comment ;)  )
Anyway... as I wrote a while back, all the blood results were negative, although actually what they didn't tell me was that they hadn't had the HIV result in, so I had an agonising wait while the GP called them up and proceeded to have a lengthy chat, which turned out to be about their procedures rather than my result, but all I could hear was '..yes...right,  oh, ok, right, yes....' anyway it was fine and clear so at least I know I am not suffering from anything really horrid. So today she finally officially diagnosed me with CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) no real surpirse there, and to be honest I think it was only because she had exhausted all other channels. I am being referred to the local clinic but apparently the wait is huge, surprise surprise...

I'm not really sure what it means other than a label and now I am being defined by illness which I hate, but at the same time I feel peaceful about it all.  And it's not ideal, but I am incredibly thankful it's not worse. And in a funny way it kind of gives me permission to say not to a lot of stuff, which I have been trying to do anyway. I think maybe it had to take something like this to get me to really stop. To really take a break and rest. To be still. So for now I am going to enjoy that time. I have or am giving up all regular commitments, except for one (to keep me sane!) and it feels right. So for now I am going to enjoy being a mum and housewife and enjoy having time to rest in Him. I seem to remember saying that before....

4 comments:

margaretkiaora said...

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, PLANS TO GIVE YOU THE FUTURE YOU HOPED FOR. Jeremiah 29 v11 (The Message ).
You are Still on My mirror next to St Anselm.
Have you ever read Catherine Marshall -old books but think you might like them. 'Something More' a good one .

Lesley said...

Erika Baker gave me 'The Stature of Waiting' as a book to read on honeymoon because I was finding the Glandular Fever such a drag. In it the author makes the point that 'Passion' is the opposite of 'Action' like passive is the opposite of active... and that Christ had a time for Action and a time for Passion and that in fact the Passion is looked upon as the greater of these.

Still musing on this..............

Nonetheless, I hope your Passion isn't too lengthy. You are in my prayers.

Red said...

thanks Guys. Margaret cant blieve I am still on your mirror!!
Lesley, thanks, yes much to ponder on with that, will do so!x

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