About Me

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Being a rebel in the church...

Is being a rebel ok?

I've beeen worrying recently about my specific calling. I don't mean the 'into ministry' bit, but the actual specifics, which for me are about change/reform/trasnforming the church from the inside (in a completely non-arrogant way...) But after a few rather un-inspiring meetings with ministers and others I was feeling very down cast. What kind of chuch will I end up in? Will I be forced somewhere I don't want to go? How much choice do I have? What are the options available for an evanglical woman in this diocese? (limited I have been imagining...)

But I know my calling is about change, I am someone who pushes boundaries, a natural rebel and probably (!) have an issue with bowing to authority.. However at the moment I seem to be doing a lot of hoop-jumping and having to 'tow the line' so needless to say I have been a bit despondent...

But yesterday I met a rather fantastic Vicar, who I won't name, who was so encouraging and told me to protect my calling, not let anyone take that away from me. He inspired me in the way he does things in his church (I think he would probably admit he is a bit of a rebel..) and in fact sounded a bit like me. It was such a pleasure to meet someone like that after the recent negativity. I cannot repeat all he said for fear of getting him in trouble, but needless to say he just made me feel that it's ok to be a bit of a rebel. Not in a 'I'm always going to do my own thing' kind of way, but just in recognising what God is calling me to, which may not always be all that popular...

I have my last meeting with my VC tomorrow (all being well and she doesn't add on anything else to do..) and I had been wondering about postponing, for fear of what might come next, but now I feel refreshed again and full of optimism for what God has in store for me. So thank you, nameless Vicar, you don't know how much of a difference you made :)

4 comments:

nicolahulks said...

Well done. I think that is the right attitude and glad you came across someone who re energized you that way. It can be quite depressing can't it? These little moments always seem to come at just the right time to give us what we need to continue. I hope your final session goes well.

N x

emma said...

I guess it's what we mean by 'rebel'. If it's about individuality, not trying to please everyone and having passion and guts, then vive la revolucion.

Hope your last meeting went ok.

Lesley said...

Hi Red,

This post made Alan laugh, and he looked pointedly at me. I have no idea what he meant ;)

Red said...

lol! no idea either Lesley..;)

thanks for the comments. I think there is probably a fine line between rebel and downright anti-authority. I guess, well I hope I am just the right side of that line..!