I seem to have regular moments of forgetting things these days. Sometimes it's worrying! other times it's minor. I think it's either a sign of getting older or it's a sign of having too much in my head! Today I went on a bit of a memory lane trip and was rather surprised by what I found. You see I always seem to remember my previous struggle with faith in a very negative way, I assume that I had no faith or very little anyway. But today I realised that must be wrong.
I am an artist and today was finally the day I sorted out my studio. I have done this before, reguarly in fact, but always rather half heartedly; but recently I have been feeling the need to really clear out. So this moring I started. It took me an hour just to go through my portfolio and it was surprisingly easy to chuck out stuff I had kept for years (some of it was from school!!) and soooo satisfying!
But what I did find was evidence of a real journey to seek God. In every 'phase' of my work was evidence of that seeking. I had forgotten how often I used scriptures in my work and even found some sketches I had done of Jesus (or how I perceived Him to be). It was really interesting and inspired me to work for the first time in ages. And it made me realise that whilst I sometimes dismiss the past, actually it was all part of this journey and much deeper than I recognised then (or now!)
I think it is really interesting how we remember things (or forget them) and how often the past can be clouded by our current thoughts and experiences. It was a very timley discovery for me and made me realise that revisiting the past in order the fill in THE form actually will be a very useful exercise rather than the painful trip I thought it would be.