You know when you do anything vaguely interesting on your PC you get a window a bit like this one above (and I apologise for nicking this image from someone elses blog, it was the only one I could find!). And the 'time remaining' changes, totally unrelated to the 'actual' time. It usually starts at about 10 seconds, with the green bar almost to the end, then the time goes up, to a minute, 10 minutes, 30 minutes and so on, as the computer realises the size of the task you are asking it to do. As it does so, the green bar sneaks back to the beginning of the window, so you realise that having thought the operation was going to take a very short time, it is now going to take a very long time. Does this happen to anyone else or is it just my crappy laptop? Well, anyway I'm feeling a bit like that little bar about my faith.
I know that's a very weird explanation but it's the only way I can think of to describe how I'm feeling today. It's like a few months back, I suddenly 'got' faith, the bar shot up to almost the end, I was elated (still am), but now the bar is heading back down as I realise the scope of my jounrey. It's not the enthusiasm that is waning, don't get me wrong, it is that the journey, or the view if you like, is getting bigger and while I get a handle on something, or read about one particular area, the bits I am not looking at keep increasing. Does that make sense? I'm not overwhelmed at all, in fact I am relishing the prospect of taking steps in whichever direction into this 'view', that God leads me.
I guess it's just a kind of realisation.