I have been wondering a lot recently about Gods purpose for me, and it has been hard. Being a newbie to all of this I have been re-evaluating my entire life (necessary of course :) ) and one of the hardest things is not having enough time to devote to God, reading the Word and praying. My husband keeps telling me that God needs people everywhere and in every role and maybe I am where He wants me right now. I just have this nagging feeling that I will be called somewhere else, somewhere totally different and it is clouding everything.
Anyway, I have begun to realise how He is moving in my life, in small ways without me really knowing it. Like this week as I blogged about on wednesday. Another really cool thing that has been happening is that I have been developing a relationship with my Grandmother. When I first gave my life to the Lord it came up that there were 3 issues in my life I needed to deal with (3 women actually!). One of these is my Nan.
My Nan is 93 and lives in a care home. She is not enjoying this. My own feeling is that she is just waiting to die. She spends much of her life phoning my poor mum moaning about what is wrong there, sometimes she phones 5 times in one day. I have felt bad about not seeing her regularly as it's only 4 miles down the road. But the last time I went in (until recently) she pretty much ignored me and her great grandchildren who I had taken in to see her. So I thought ok, well if she doesn't want to see me I won't bother.
Anyway, I felt this call from God to go and see her, so I suggested it to my mum who was actually quite negative and said oh, no dont, she will just moan at you etc etc, but as i felt called to do this I persevered.
So, now I have been going in to see her once a week since January and it has been awesome :) The first week there she said she would pray for me, the next week she asked about my church and she has told me lots of stuff about her past that I think she needed to get off her chest.
Then last week, she just said to me, 'I don't think I'm being a very good Christian, have you got any advice for me?' well, wow! I wasn't sure how to even start, without criticising her, so I just said she should pray about it more and I would look up some scriptures that might be helpful. and then I prayed with her - which was so awesome, and I knew the Lord was guiding me. Of course when I got home I thought of all the things I could have said to her! So I wrote her a letter. I was a bit worried about this, as I was quite honest with her, but in a caring way and I suggested some scriptures to look up and told her I would pray for her.
So, last night my Dad was here and we were talking about her and he said he thought my going to visit was making a big difference, that she wasn't calling up so much and she was really chuffed with my letter. That made me feel so great and I thank the Lord for all he is doing! He is moving in both of our lives and I know that this is something he has led me to do, and it it making a real difference to my Nans life. I am so excited for her and to know that she is drawing closer to the Lord.
I am off to visit her shortly and I'm really excited to see what she will ask me today!
First, though, I have to make loads of cakes as I am on cake duty at church this weekend for the first time and by chance it is the one weeknd when I am away! So I am praying for my husband to remember to take them along on Sunday morning! And I will be back on Monday....
The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalms 138:8